Relating to the Physical Body vs. Reenacting Stories

Re-Enactment – is a form of acting out or repeating a past event or situation. That can be a relationship to a primary care-taker from childhood or a social setting we experienced in school etc.

One other major question needs to be addressed: How do you know if the kink play around trauma related events is re-negotiating what happened to you or simply re-enacting (and potentially re-traumatizing) you?

Theo and Emma have a couple of important pointers for you that can help you understand the distinction and engage in healthier play that helps you shift energies and engage with trauma in a connected, meaningful and proactive way.


When trying to understand if your play is re-enacting or re-negotiating, think you the following topics:

• actual safety and your feelings and emotions around safety

• communication: with yourself, your play partner(s), your larger safety net (friends, therapist etc.)

• time and timing of the play

• place of the play (as in safe(r) space)

• your intention for playing

• your partner’s intention

• negotiation, consent, boundaries, pre-care and aftercare


1) What came to mind when you heard Theo and Emma talk about the differences between re-enactment and re-negotiation?

2) Have you had experiences of re-enacting your trauma?

3) Have you had experiences of re-negotiating your trauma?

4) Think about what your play around trauma topics would look like, if it was re-enacting it. How and what would need to change so it becomes a re-negotiation?

Privacy Preference Center