Re-Enactment – is a form of acting out or repeating a past event or situation. That can be a relationship to a primary care-taker from childhood or a social setting we experienced in school etc.
One other major question needs to be addressed: How do you know if the kink play around trauma related events is re-negotiating what happened to you or simply re-enacting (and potentially re-traumatizing) you?
Theo and Emma have a couple of important pointers for you that can help you understand the distinction and engage in healthier play that helps you shift energies and engage with trauma in a connected, meaningful and proactive way.
When trying to understand if your play is re-enacting or re-negotiating, think you the following topics:
• actual safety and your feelings and emotions around safety
• communication: with yourself, your play partner(s), your larger safety net (friends, therapist etc.)
• time and timing of the play
• place of the play (as in safe(r) space)
• your intention for playing
• your partner’s intention
• negotiation, consent, boundaries, pre-care and aftercare
1) What came to mind when you heard Theo and Emma talk about the differences between re-enactment and re-negotiation?
2) Have you had experiences of re-enacting your trauma?
3) Have you had experiences of re-negotiating your trauma?
4) Think about what your play around trauma topics would look like, if it was re-enacting it. How and what would need to change so it becomes a re-negotiation?